The heart surgeon was waiting for the service manager to come and take a look at his bike. Allan shouted across the garage, ‘Hey Doc can I ask you a question? Allan straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, ‘So Doc, look at this engine. I also can open hearts, take valves out, fix’em, put in new parts and when I finish this will work just like a new one. So how come I work for a pittance and you get the really big money, when you and I are doing basically the same work? When he was called in to see the doctor, Adam slowly got up, and, grasping his cane and hunching over, slowly made his way into the examining room.

Funniest 40 One Liner Jokes on Alcohol and about Alcoholics

Collection of best one-line jokes about alcohol and alcoholics. If you see me with a water bottle, there’s probably vodka in it 2. You can consider yourself lucky in life, if the cognac you drink is older than the woman that you’re sleeping with. We never knew he was a drunk

Doctor’s One-liner Advice Crazy Logic – Classic Doctor Joke Keep Drinking the Water Doctor Makes Read more. Funny doctor jokes. When the patient fainted, her eyes rolled around the room. See more clean, free yet funny one-liners and stories from doctors’notes.

In this world there two things involved: Either you are born a man or women If you are a Woman you are safe, but if you are born a man there are two things involved: Either you are in Military or Civilian If you are civilian you are safe, if you are in Military there two things involved: Either in office or war front If you are in office you are safe, if you are in war front there two things involved: Either you kill somebody or somebody kills you If you kill somebody you are safe, if somebody kills you there two things involved: Either you will be buried or you body will be used for manure If you are buried you are safe if your body is used for manure two things involved: Either will be used to grow flowers or used to grow trees If you used to grow flowers you are safe, but if used to grow trees two things involved: Either will be used to manufacture tissue paper or furniture If used for furniture you are safe, if used for tissue paper two things involved: Either you will be used by a Men or Women If used by Men you are safe, if used by Women two things involved:

Funny Doctor Jokes

When do you kick a midget in the balls? When he is standing next to your girlfriend saying her hair smells nice Q: What’s the difference between your job and a dead prostitute?

Funny dating dating go back from funny dating quotes to cute quotes or back to the home page funny jokes, funny quotes, funny sayings follow jokequoteNew comments leave a note or share a joke are moderated by the head lafologist.

Charles Xavier chews out several of his students in One Way to Become an Ex-X-Man after a prank war culminates in them stowing Xander in the women’s locker room just before all the female telepaths entered, then locking everyone inside with their telepathy forcibly turned on. They for all intents and purposes forced their teammates to rape someone who considered them a friend, all as part of a prank.

It’s later revealed that Xander avoided it by focusing on his other main fantasy of having a loving family. This still resulted in Psylocke raping him, though they’re getting married. In A Year Too Soon , Draco Malfoy starts to express his wishes that the troll had killed Hermione instead of just injuring her before being shut up by a Death Glare from roughly a third of Slytherin. For wishing death upon a fellow student, Snape gives him detention until the holidays and informs Dumbledore of his actions.

Wendy tells a scary story, and Bill tries to help it by supplementing it with an image of the monster. The others don’t, and Connie calls him out, which confuses him for a bit. One of the Beauxbatons students in Si Vis Pacem Para Bellum jokingly threatens to reveal where Sirius is when she overhears Harry and friends talking about it. She apologizes afterwards, admitting that she thought it was something minor rather than them harboring an escaped but innocent felon. Fantasy of Utter Ridiculousness: Reisen has this reponse when Eirin gives her some herbs and spices from the kitchen to take with her, shortly after she’d just gotten done reassuring her subordinate that Reimu wouldn’t turn her into rabbit stew for not safeguarding Megas’s crew.

10 Things You Should Know Before Dating a Funny Guy

My first boyfriend asked me to do missionary and I buggered off to Africa for six months. Body like a Greek statue — completely pale, no arms. I hear you ask. My observational comedy improved. I hardly ever visit Syria. Asking for a friend.

1. Heartbreak In , country music sensation Reba McEntire received the shock of a lifetime. After 26 years of marriage, her husband, Narvel Blackstock, decided that he wanted a divorce.

Then it was about creating a living memory of the past 80 years of the British car industry. He loves cars — adores them, worships them, strokes their bonnets and sculpted curves, talks about them constantly and lights up like a candelabra at the prospect of giving a guided tour. It might be a man thing. A condition of sale is that the cars, pedal cars and planes are sold as one lot.

Or, indeed, somewhere to display cars plus all those pedal cars and planes — many of them almost identical, or of special sentimental value just to Dr Hull. But the response has been extraordinary. People were knocking on the bloody gate. Bidders were turning up in helicopters. There are currently about 20 interested parties — private individuals, consortiums, funds, asset buyers. But even so, from the minute we enter the first of many vast purpose-built warehouses, it is evident that it will be impossible to remain indifferent.

There are rows and rows of immaculate gleaming machines.

Funniest 40 One Liner Jokes on Alcohol and about Alcoholics

This is Karma Tank!!! Detour Ahead The epic mess that was “Detour Ahead 5”. Particularly in the fourth stage- after fighting off a ridiculous horde, the guys are chatting about how glad they are to have survived and now they can heal This is not long after their only Molotov was used to make a wall of fire behind them during the event so they wouldn’t get mobbed from behind. Don’t forget the beginning of the third stage, where they go into a warehouse and are attacked by a tank, a charger, and a jockey.

First Taka is downed by the tank, then after being helped back up, the charger downs him again.

Oct 03,  · 10 Truly Effective Tinder Pick-Up Lines That Actually Worked. hence the growing prevalence of fast and convenient online dating. But if you want really fast, Whether clever, funny, or downright serious, give us your best shot and try to swoon us with one line.

It contains hundreds of pick up lines that you can enjoy, use and share with the ones you want. It may well be too great a challenge to read them all at once, you always have the option to split them up so you can enjoy them for several days in a row. Did you sit in a pile of sugar? Cause you have a pretty sweet ass. Girl, your so hot my zipper is falling for you! I grew up during the sixties, with the peace and love generation.

Are you an interior decorator? Because when I saw you, the entire room became beautiful. Do you have a Band-Aid? Because I just scraped my knee falling for you. Are you a camera? Because every time I look at you, I smile. Keep calm and take your pants off. I seem to have lost my phone number.

Ladyboy jokes

Funny one liners on relationships 1. There are two theories to arguing with women. I think, therefore I’m single. If you love something, turn it loose. If it doesn’t come back, hunt it down and kill it. Something tells me that I shouldn’t date until the world makes sense again.

Funny jokes about dating: boyfriends and girlfriends, men and women, sex, making love, unhappy ending stories, marriage. Funny Jokes & Quotes. Joke of the Day Valentines Day jokes Best jokes TOP 10 jokes Absurd jokes One-liner jokes Profession jokes Relationship, marriage jokes Funny sex jokes.

When do you kick a midget in the balls? When he is standing next to your girlfriend saying her hair smells nice Q: What’s the difference between your job and a dead prostitute? Your job still sucks! What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree? Hold on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job! How does a woman scare a gynecologist?

By becoming a ventriloquist!

Chandler Bing’s Funniest One-Liners

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